Thank you Evil I. from Foco for writing this up!

September 11th Bout Recap: Punchy Brewsters vs. Naughty Pines Derby Dames

By Eliaz “Evil I.” McMillan

Roller derby is just as much about building relationships as it is about skating, and it was for this reason we were excited to have the Naughty Pines Derby Dames, with whom we’ve only scrimmaged before, come down from Laramie, Wyoming for a bout to test our new away team, the Punchy Brewsters. We hope what the Pines took away was as valuable, from the experience and their win, as the lessons we learned, and the experience we gained from the bout.

The first half showed a close game with only a 10-point difference in the scores: Punchy Brewsters- 44 to the Naughty Pines- 54. The Pines gained lead jammer status two more times than the Brewsters, but no jammer scored as much in that first half as Misty Skull Krippler, number 24, of the Punchy Brewsters, who managed 21 points in the first period. She’s proven herself as a jammer, one of the highest scoring jammers in our last two bouts. The Brewsters only gave up 1 point while they had lead jammer status, in that first jam, though our jammers managed to score 6 points while the Pines had lead jammer status. Penalty-wise the Brewsters were certainly punchy, with 31 minors called to the Pines’ 17, though the Pines did get one more major called on them than our seven immediate trips to the box.

Penalties stayed high for us, though not as high in this second half as for the Pines, who saw #15, Rid-A-Cruel, expelled for too many trips to the box. Congratulations to the cleanest players on both teams. Sally Terry Confinement, number 6, for the Brewsters played a penalty free game and the Pines’ Razor Ribbons, #<3, as well as Nic Nak Booty Smack, #1331, and Misty Skull Krippler, for the Brewsters, were only called with one minor penalty each (forearms, elbows and skating out of bounds respectively). Other clean players for the Brewsters: Putcha Onya Pockets, with only 3 minors; Battle E. Portman (the box just wasn’t the same without her) only went to the box once with one major for low blocking and had only one minor; Mama McHurt, one minor penalty away from expulsion in our last bout seems to have cleaned up her act with only 4 minors and 1 major this time around.

It was the second half that really hurt us. Though Suga Smaxxx, Putcha Onya Pockets, and Spice Cadet all got in some good, clean hits, our defense was just not as strong in the second half. We gave up more points while we had lead jammer status (12 points in this second half, though the Pines gave up 17) and though we had lead jammer status as often as the Pines, our jammers weren’t able to get as many points. The final score was: Punchy Brewsters- 83 to Naughty Pines- 115, showing us with this defeat that though we seem to have all the right pieces we still have much to learn about how to put these pieces together.